Dear Journal,

I know I am going to die, I know it is going to happen soon. I just need to get it off my chest that I forgive him. I forgive Esteban and everything that he has done. He did try, he tried hard to love me, and I know that it had to be impossible after losing Rosa, so I give him credit. He tried the best for our family. I know everything that happened that one night never should have happened, and he did what he did out of love. I know that all now, and without him I wouldn't have the beautiful family that I do have. So I know now that everything is okay, and soon enough Esteban will know that too. I love my family and it hurts me to leave them, but I know that with Esteban they will one day learn to be a family and keep my spirit with them when I visit. This is my last post, thank you for being my wall all of these years. You kept me sane.
Goodbye.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Alba is growing up, she is getting so big. She's a little different but hey! It builds character... I just have a weird feeling with her being around Esteban.. I don't know it's like a motherly instinct, I feel like I need to keep her away from him.. the least I could do is protect her..

Dear Journal,

BABIES BABIES BABIES.
That's all my family seems to be about. My other son Nicolás's girlfriend is pregnant, but I think they aren't trying to have the baby, because they're trying to bring Jamie into it.. I don't know I'm just the mother. Blanca came home yesterday.. turns out some weird stuff was going on with the Count, and now she's home, along with her baby girl Alba. I am so happy for her, even though the circumstances with the father of Alba.

Dear Journal,

I have decided to take Blanca and the twins to a big house in the city. I am so proud of my children and how far they have come. Jamie is a new doctor. and he gave the family big news the other day.. Blanca is pregnant. We all know who the father is.. boy when the kids tell Esteban I can only imagine his reaction...
The kids told Esteban, he is furious.. go figure. Him and that temper of his... He has decided that for the good of "The Family" he is forcing Blanca to marry The Count.

Blanca has been sent to the North with The Count because according to Esteban otherwise the pregnancy will be a "scandal.."

Dear Journal,

Trouble in paradise...
Last night a neighbor Count Jean de Satigny spied on Blanca and followed her down to meet up with the man she had been sneaking around with, who happened to be Pedro Tercero. Well Count Jean woke up Esteban, who went down the river where they were, and when he found them he began beating Blanca with a horse whip! He is unbelievable!!! Of course me being the mother I step up and say something and boy did we go at it! We argued and then finally he had enough of me I guess and punched my teeth out! Who could do such a thing to a woman he supposedly loved?! To the mother of his children?! I am never going to forgive him and we will never speak again. That I am sure of! I need to calm down. Bye for now.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Esteban fired the man that has been sneaking around with Blanca, so things at home have not been great. Blanca also returned home from boarding school because she is ill. I have a feeling it's more for that boy though.. Esteban and I have been have trouble with our marriage as well. He is such a moody bastard I can't stand him during the day and at night? Forget it. His sex drive is that of a horse and I will not be put up to it. He keeps saying his body is getting smaller, and to be honest it is. He isn't the man he used to be... I miss the old Esteban and of course he does nothing but blame Férula, but I can't blame her for what she did, he should never have kicked her out of our house, she had such a good life with us...

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

There was a terrible earthquake! The house collapsed and Esteban was trapped inside, he broke every bone in his body! What a terrible happening, also I found out that Blanca had been sneaking around!!! I found out because she wasn't in her room when the earthquake hit!! How dare she sneak around with a boy at her age and do god knows what! I cannot believe her actions, I am furious with her right now but I have to deal with Esteban and take care of him and rebuild the house for all of us so I suppose she got off lucky for now! She better watch herself before I whip her into shape before her father does.

xoxo Clara