Dear Journal,

I know I am going to die, I know it is going to happen soon. I just need to get it off my chest that I forgive him. I forgive Esteban and everything that he has done. He did try, he tried hard to love me, and I know that it had to be impossible after losing Rosa, so I give him credit. He tried the best for our family. I know everything that happened that one night never should have happened, and he did what he did out of love. I know that all now, and without him I wouldn't have the beautiful family that I do have. So I know now that everything is okay, and soon enough Esteban will know that too. I love my family and it hurts me to leave them, but I know that with Esteban they will one day learn to be a family and keep my spirit with them when I visit. This is my last post, thank you for being my wall all of these years. You kept me sane.
Goodbye.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Alba is growing up, she is getting so big. She's a little different but hey! It builds character... I just have a weird feeling with her being around Esteban.. I don't know it's like a motherly instinct, I feel like I need to keep her away from him.. the least I could do is protect her..

Dear Journal,

BABIES BABIES BABIES.
That's all my family seems to be about. My other son Nicolás's girlfriend is pregnant, but I think they aren't trying to have the baby, because they're trying to bring Jamie into it.. I don't know I'm just the mother. Blanca came home yesterday.. turns out some weird stuff was going on with the Count, and now she's home, along with her baby girl Alba. I am so happy for her, even though the circumstances with the father of Alba.

Dear Journal,

I have decided to take Blanca and the twins to a big house in the city. I am so proud of my children and how far they have come. Jamie is a new doctor. and he gave the family big news the other day.. Blanca is pregnant. We all know who the father is.. boy when the kids tell Esteban I can only imagine his reaction...
The kids told Esteban, he is furious.. go figure. Him and that temper of his... He has decided that for the good of "The Family" he is forcing Blanca to marry The Count.

Blanca has been sent to the North with The Count because according to Esteban otherwise the pregnancy will be a "scandal.."

Dear Journal,

Trouble in paradise...
Last night a neighbor Count Jean de Satigny spied on Blanca and followed her down to meet up with the man she had been sneaking around with, who happened to be Pedro Tercero. Well Count Jean woke up Esteban, who went down the river where they were, and when he found them he began beating Blanca with a horse whip! He is unbelievable!!! Of course me being the mother I step up and say something and boy did we go at it! We argued and then finally he had enough of me I guess and punched my teeth out! Who could do such a thing to a woman he supposedly loved?! To the mother of his children?! I am never going to forgive him and we will never speak again. That I am sure of! I need to calm down. Bye for now.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Esteban fired the man that has been sneaking around with Blanca, so things at home have not been great. Blanca also returned home from boarding school because she is ill. I have a feeling it's more for that boy though.. Esteban and I have been have trouble with our marriage as well. He is such a moody bastard I can't stand him during the day and at night? Forget it. His sex drive is that of a horse and I will not be put up to it. He keeps saying his body is getting smaller, and to be honest it is. He isn't the man he used to be... I miss the old Esteban and of course he does nothing but blame Férula, but I can't blame her for what she did, he should never have kicked her out of our house, she had such a good life with us...

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

There was a terrible earthquake! The house collapsed and Esteban was trapped inside, he broke every bone in his body! What a terrible happening, also I found out that Blanca had been sneaking around!!! I found out because she wasn't in her room when the earthquake hit!! How dare she sneak around with a boy at her age and do god knows what! I cannot believe her actions, I am furious with her right now but I have to deal with Esteban and take care of him and rebuild the house for all of us so I suppose she got off lucky for now! She better watch herself before I whip her into shape before her father does.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Esteban kicked Ferula out of the house, he is so unbelievable! He has terrible jealously problems.


I saw her ghost at dinner tonight, it was a terrible thing. That is how we knew she was dead. Long live her soul. Esteban and I went to find her and turns out she had been living in an old run down apartment. Want to know the worst part? We found all of the money Esteban had been sending her.. I mean I don't blame her for not using it, he kicked her out of our house. I just can't help but feel as if though I could have done something more to help her...

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Of course as soon as my life is going good, something terrible has to happen. My parents were killed in a car crash, and my mum was beheaded. I made Férula come with my to find my mums head, I can't let it sit out there in the open. She was my mother... After we did find her head we came home in time for me to give birth to my babies, they're beautiful. Life is a wonderful thing. I guess with every downfall comes with an uprising. I have to get some sleep now.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

Blanca is growing up to be beautiful, and guess what? I'm pregnant again too! I had a vision that I am going to have two baby boys. I plan on naming them Jaime and Nicolás, ofcourse Esteban had to pick a fight about that because they weren't going to be named after him... I don't know where this marriage is going. What have I gotten myself into...

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

I met Esteban's sister, her name is Férula. I can tell we are going to be very close, I also invited her to live in our mansion with us. On another note, I am pregnant, and I am going to have a baby girl. I plan on naming her Blanca. //

I gave birth, she is beautiful.

Dear Journal,

I'm back!

And I have interesting news. I'm engaged. Rosa's old finance Esteban and I are getting married. He came back into town because his mother was dying, and when he stopped by he mentioned that he promised his mother that he would get married, so you know what? I proposed. Because why not really? I knew it was my fate. //

Something terrible just happened. At my engagement party Barrabás got stabbed and died in my lap. This has to be a sign. He was all I had left of Uncle Marcos. I can't believe this. It just seems to be one thing after another and I can't keep up anymore.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

I have decided that I am no longer going to talk. There is no reason for me to. I don't want anyone to find out about my vision, and I can't stop blaming myself for Rosa's death. This stress is so much for me to handle I don't have any other choice.  Since I am no longer going to talk there isn't really a point of me writing in here anymore because I'll have nothing to say. Maybe one day I'll be back but until then bye journal.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

I had a vision, and I knew that Rosa was going to die. There. I got it off of my chest, I can't help but think that this is my fault. I can't let anyone know this, they will never let me live this down. What if they think I didn't tell anyone on purpose? Because I wanted to see her die? NO. NOONE WILL FIND OUT I REFUSE TO LET ANYONE KNOW.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

I know I haven't written in a couple days but I have terrible news. My sister Rosa died, she died by a swig of brandy, which was actually for my dad! This is horrible someone is out to kill my family. Also, Rosa was engaged to Esteban Trueba, he left to mine in the North in hopes to strike rich to support his new family. I can't imagine what he is feeling, he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. This is terrible. I have to go now.

xoxo Clara

Dear Journal,

I'm writing in this because I don't know where else to turn. Today I got a new dog, he is enormous and his name is Barrabás. I got him because Uncle Marcos passed away, I'm so torn. Who is going to tell me about all of his adventures around the world?  Atleast I now have Barrabás, it's a little piece of my uncle. Also, mum and dad are worried about me so I have that to deal with. All because I said some curse words when we were having a moment of silence and now around town I have a bad reputation, they think it's a sign because I can predict the future and all that stuff. They're such typical parents, they never let me have any fun. Anyway I should go for now.

xoxo Clara